5 things I'm thinking today. . .

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firegal
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by firegal » Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:37 am

1. I feel utterly exhausted
2. I have a client coming in soon and even though I am fairly sure of my plan for the session I'm still dreading it a bit
3. Therapy is not my favourite part of training
4. Still glad to be on training - but every day I find myself worrying a little bit whether I've shot myself in the foot by not going down the PhD route
5. Too much going on in my life right now - good stuff, but still struggling to hold it all at once

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miriam
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by miriam » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:05 am

1. Had a wisdom tooth removed on Friday. Very glad to be rid, as it was the last of the teeth damaged in my RTA, and hopefully marks an end to the 2.5 years of dental work and pain since the accident. But man does it hurt - every time the painkillers wear off I feel like I've been punched in the face!
2. Went to see the expert dentist for the compensation claim re that RTA (in which I was rear-ended by a lorry when I stopped to give way at a roundabout about 100 yards from work) and reviewed the enormous impact it has had on my life. I'd never have predicted that on the day, when it looked like a very minor bump, and I didn't know it was possible to fracture teeth :(
3. My cats are devious geniuses. We bought a smart cat flap that recognises their microchips to let them come and go, but they learnt how to "hack" it when it is set to in only - pressing down the button and then digging at the edges to open it inwards to go out. The manufacturer sent us a modification to cover the button, and they then learnt to hack that!
4. I do love having cats again though. We adopted three brothers who were about a year old from cat protection, and they are so adorable in how they groom each other, and sprawl in front of the fire. It has taken them a long time to settle in and gain trust in us, but now they come for strokes and roll over to show their bellies and purr :D They remind me of the simple pleasures of eating, sleeping and being pampered!
5. My new admin is amazing. The business is the most organised it has ever been, and she has managed to pull in enough payments for overdue invoices for me to keep paying the mortgage despite dropping down to part-time due to all the dental work. Fingers crossed we can get a few more subscribers to our outcome measurement tools, and then the business will be secure again, whether I return to full-time work or not.
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

lingua_franca
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:36 pm

I hope your pain clears up soon, Miriam, and that you can be dentist-free for a while now. (And your cats sound great - I can't have any pets in my flat and I'm envious of anyone who has got cat companions.)
firegal wrote: 4. Still glad to be on training - but every day I find myself worrying a little bit whether I've shot myself in the foot by not going down the PhD route
For what it's worth, as someone who went down the PhD route, I didn't stop wondering if I'd shot myself in the foot by not going down the clinical route until comparatively recently. ;) I find that such "grass is greener" worries tend to crop up when I'm very tired, have huge amounts to do, and/or I'm not feeling confident with an aspect of my current role. It could just be a coincidence, but I can't help noticing that all three of these things feature in your 5 things. I think doubts about your path are just par for the course, even if you're doing something you really like.

1.) I'm teaching a final-year undergraduate module this semester. I'm really excited about it - such a fun course and the students seem really keen so far. Sometimes a little too keen. One eager beaver has already booked an office hour slot to talk to me about his final assignment, which I won't be marking until late May. :shock:
2. ) The one dispiriting thing about cooking is having to clean up afterwards. I've been staying with a friend who has a dishwasher, and it's spoilt me. Suddenly washing all my huge pans by hand feels like being made to row a galley.
3.) I want to submit an abstract for a really interesting looking conference, but I will be on fieldwork then and I don't see how I can rearrange it.
4.) I'm proofreading a PhD thesis for a friend who isn't confident with her English. This is giving me a sense of inadequacy about my proficiency in other languages. She's amazing.
5.) Time to make a cup of tea, catch up on my admin, and then do some writing.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by nomnom » Thu Jan 25, 2018 1:49 pm

1. After what feels like a lifetime of being in several storms and not being able to get my bearings in this "relationship", I have finally found some grounding/peace since Saturday. It has taken so much out of me. I don't know how long this is going to last but I really want to hold on to this space until my CBT course ends.

2. 5 months until the end - woo!

3. Juts booked a holiday to Egypt. Winter sun + time out of UK = Much needed.

4. I'm in a weird place/time at the moment. A lot of my hard work is coming to an end this summer but that also means new beginnings. But for the first time ever, I don't actually know what that is or what that means for me. I'm not nervous about it, just apprehensive I suppose. However, I want to be mindful to enjoy this process at the same time because God knows it has been an uphill battle for a long time.

5. I am losing too much weight :shock: Need to eat!
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Randomswirls » Fri Jan 26, 2018 4:54 pm

1 I really need the loo
2 I really hate buses
3 shockingly I am really excited about my thesis
4 I wonder how long until that wears off
5 I am so bored of my essay!

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by nomnom » Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:56 am

1. That calm after the storms lasted all of 6 days :-( this last week has been horrific and I cannot understand why. I feel so lost, weak and confused. Letting go will hurt me I know but holding on is hurting me too :-(

2. I am utterly exhausted. God knows how I have functioned since Thursday with very little sleep or food...

3. *sigh*

4. I need to focus.

5. But I can't.
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by MindfulPsych » Thu Feb 01, 2018 10:34 am

1. It's February which means in a few weeks i'll hopefully be taking part in one of the selection tests for the doctorate (hopefully!)
2. Not feeling very well today and thinking I should have stayed home in bed
3. Been voted as the best cake maker.. can I put this on my CV? :D
4. I love that it's sunny outside
5. I swear this week is slower than all the other weeks... is it not Friday yet!?

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miriam
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by miriam » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:56 pm

lingua_franca wrote:I hope your pain clears up soon, Miriam, and that you can be dentist-free for a while now. (And your cats sound great - I can't have any pets in my flat and I'm envious of anyone who has got cat companions.)
Thanks!

1. Tooth pain receding.
2. All excited about my research at the moment.
3. Enjoyed the professional development day yesterday, and looking forward to London days in a fortnight.
4. Feeling quite energised and entrepreneurial.
5. Also excited about planning what we want to do with our dilapidated farmhouse.
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by lingua_franca » Fri Feb 02, 2018 8:35 pm

1.) Undergrads who consistently don't do the reading. :evil: (And I KNOW you're not reading - the VLE shows me the last time you logged in and how much time you spent logged in, and if the last time was for all of three seconds days before I posted your readings, you clearly haven't touched them.)
2.) Undergrads who sit there like a row of mildly concussed clams instead of answering any questions or getting into discussions.
3.) Undergrads playing with their phones. I really don't need to deliver my lecture to the soundtrack of CandyCrush or whatever it is the kids play these days.
4.) Undergrads who are rude and leave early without telling me why. Don't make me ban you from coming back. I will if you do that without good reason.
5.) Technology that fails mid-lecture.
6.) Can you tell that I've just taught a class of doom? I need a sixth thought. I deserve a sixth thought after a day like today. And I'm going to devote it the three students in that room who are always an unfailing delight to teach no matter what the others are like. I want to buy you ice creams.
"Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.
- A.A. Milne.

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by ChrisCross » Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:18 pm

1. A few months into training and I feel like I have been hit in the face with a shovel... repeatedly... and then stomped on a few times to boot. I expected it to be an emotionally draining (and rewarding) process, but I guess you really just don't know how things are going to pan out until you're living and breathing the experiences.

2. Desperately wanting this placement to come to an end... at this rate I'll be lucky to make it out with my own mental health intact. Only a few more weeks to go. I can do this.

3. Grateful for all of the wonderful people on the course, friends, family and all of their support. Don't think I would have made it this far without them.

4. Hoping that when I come out at the other end I can look back and breathe a sigh of relief, reflect calmly and patiently, let go of the bitterness and move on.

5. So looking forward to my holiday when placement ends!

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ell
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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by ell » Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:09 pm

1) Have had the most amazing weekend. I have no words.
2) I have the most amazing people in my life. I just can't get over how lucky I am.
3) It's going to be hard going back to real life on Monday.

Two spare thoughts for anyone who needs them.

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by Victoriomantic » Sun Feb 04, 2018 10:12 am

1. In limbo awaiting a medical diagnosis, and this limbo might affect my application for the doctorate this year :(

2. Funeral next week. Maybe then I can properly start to grieve.

3. Getting urges to give the house a deep clean instead of revision. I think that will make me feel better :D

4. Worried about my sister who is starting to wobble off the rails again and pushing us all away

5. I'm glad I've taken time to relax this weekend despite everything

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by nomnom » Sun Feb 04, 2018 4:21 pm

1. I broke up with him... I can't put in to words the hurt I am feeling right now.

2. The timing could not be worse. I have 4 months to finish my training. I really need to focus but all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry.

3. So much of everything wasted.

4. I don't know if I am brave or strong enough to get through this.

5. :cry:
'Forget what hurt you. But remember what it taught you'

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by purpledot » Sun Feb 04, 2018 8:50 pm

ChrisCross wrote:1. A few months into training and I feel like I have been hit in the face with a shovel... repeatedly... and then stomped on a few times to boot. I expected it to be an emotionally draining (and rewarding) process, but I guess you really just don't know how things are going to pan out until you're living and breathing the experiences.

2. Desperately wanting this placement to come to an end... at this rate I'll be lucky to make it out with my own mental health intact. Only a few more weeks to go. I can do this.

3. Grateful for all of the wonderful people on the course, friends, family and all of their support. Don't think I would have made it this far without them.

4. Hoping that when I come out at the other end I can look back and breathe a sigh of relief, reflect calmly and patiently, let go of the bitterness and move on.

5. So looking forward to my holiday when placement ends!

Hi ChrisCross,

Your post really resonated with me, and I wanted to comment to offer some solidarity. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience so early on into training, and I'm glad that the course & your family/friends have been supportive. I had a difficult experience in one of my first year placements, and it can feel like such a shock when it happens, particularly when it's happening in the middle of what is already a demanding and stressful training course. I hope that you're doing ok (and have access to support if needed), and that your next placement is a good experience for you.


1. Absolutely loving the Roller Derby world cup, can't wait to watch Bonnie Thunders in the final!
2. Wish I'd gotten tickets as it's so close, and very jealous of my teammates who are in the crowd.
3. As so many of our coaches are watching the world cup, we got to play skate-basketball in training today which was so much fun, even if I did manage to accidentally cause a four-person collision.
4. Conflicting feelings towards my upcoming end of placement. The clinical work is definitely not the area I want to work in (though it's been v interesting!), but I'm in a lovely team and with a fantastic supervisor who I feel that I could continue to learn so much from.
5. Things within our cohort are difficult at the moment due to some unexpected news. We've been lucky to have wonderful support from our course staff, but it's been a really hard experience and there's not really much that can be done to change that unfortunately.

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Re: 5 things I'm thinking today. . .

Post by workingmama » Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:04 pm

1. Shin splint. Owwwwww. And grumpy about it :evil:
2. Four very lovely Masters supervisees are brightening my year. All interested and engaged.
3. Bitten off a little more than I can chew comfortably, so taking a day's annual leave to simply sit and chew more slowly.
4. I'm loving a revival of my previous love of Weetabix. How can I have gone so many years without it?
5. I wish I was more connected to some of the amazing, knowledgable, radical feminists that I used to be surrounded by. I need to build up my Newcastle network.
Fail, fail again, fail better.

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