What you're thinking v what you say

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NotReally
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What you're thinking v what you say

Post by NotReally » Sun Nov 18, 2018 1:17 pm

I've always found it quite hard to say something I don't mean, but sometimes, it's gotta be done I suppose. I've seen a few tv comedy routines based around not saying what you mean, and they usually get a good laugh, so I thought it might make a decent thread if we got everyones stories together. I'm also quite confident very few, if any, people I know visit this forum, so I've got that going for me too.

I started a new job recently, and the other day, one of the other staff was puffing on their e-cig when it ran out. They looked at it and said "oh, please don't run out on me, please". Then they looked across at me and said "I regularly talk to inanimate objects, what does that tell you, mr psychologist?"

What I said: I don't think that's THAT unusual.

What I was thinking: you're bat **** crazy.

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workingmama
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by workingmama » Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:11 am

What someone might say is, "that's a really funny story!"

What I'm actually thinking is, "Man I hope I never run into you in real life because that level of judgey-pantsing just does not float my boat". :roll:

In order to not just bite and leave, I'll offer up:

Saying: "Sure I can take on that extra project for you, deeply impressive and high ranking superior".
Thinking: "I'm actually sinking just a little bit here. Say no, Say NO!!!"
Fail, fail again, fail better.

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Victoriomantic
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by Victoriomantic » Sun Nov 25, 2018 12:51 pm

What I'm saying: Mhm, of course
What I'm thinking: Please answer my question, we only have 20 minutes left, oh god how do I interrupt you? My supervisor is going to make me role play this AGAIN.

lakeland
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by lakeland » Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:05 pm

Yeah I regularly talk to inanimate objects too, so I second workingmama! Also I take a slight issue with the term bat shit crazy too.

NotReally
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by NotReally » Tue Nov 27, 2018 9:50 pm

lakeland wrote:
Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:05 pm
Yeah I regularly talk to inanimate objects too, so I second workingmama! Also I take a slight issue with the term bat shit crazy too.
I appear to have touched a nerve. It wasn't my intention, apologies.

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workingmama
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by workingmama » Thu Nov 29, 2018 11:29 pm

I wrote such a long reply and sadly it was all wiped out by a glitch that is making me log in after every reply. Horrors.

I won't rewrite it all, which is a shame because I had put a lot of thought into it, but in a much longer form I wrote that it wasn't so much a nerve that had been touched as a personal and professional standard. The idea for the thread was fun, but it was soured by the phrasing of your thoughts and the level of judgement you placed on the other person in the tale. I'm aware that many potential clients can access and read this forum (which I like), and again many of us will be ex, current, or future clients. It doesn't help anyone to imagine that others hold that level of judgement about what is essentially a pretty benign habit that harms no-one. I don't speak to inanimate objects, but it sounds pretty friendly really (might say hi to my kettle in the morning!). I wrote a bit too about what I think about when I notice I'm being judgemental and critical. I question what it is in me or the other person that has triggered that in me, and what I'm trying to achieve in my judgement. For me it always boils down to low self esteem, my personal arch nemesis. Other things will doubtless be the trigger in other people.

Anyway, I'm aware that we haven't 'met', so I'll leave you with my own thoughts and wish you well.
Fail, fail again, fail better.

NotReally
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by NotReally » Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:21 am

workingmama wrote:
Thu Nov 29, 2018 11:29 pm
I wrote such a long reply and sadly it was all wiped out by a glitch that is making me log in after every reply. Horrors.

I won't rewrite it all, which is a shame because I had put a lot of thought into it, but in a much longer form I wrote that it wasn't so much a nerve that had been touched as a personal and professional standard. The idea for the thread was fun, but it was soured by the phrasing of your thoughts and the level of judgement you placed on the other person in the tale. I'm aware that many potential clients can access and read this forum (which I like), and again many of us will be ex, current, or future clients. It doesn't help anyone to imagine that others hold that level of judgement about what is essentially a pretty benign habit that harms no-one. I don't speak to inanimate objects, but it sounds pretty friendly really (might say hi to my kettle in the morning!). I wrote a bit too about what I think about when I notice I'm being judgemental and critical. I question what it is in me or the other person that has triggered that in me, and what I'm trying to achieve in my judgement. For me it always boils down to low self esteem, my personal arch nemesis. Other things will doubtless be the trigger in other people.

Anyway, I'm aware that we haven't 'met', so I'll leave you with my own thoughts and wish you well.
Sure, thanks for the insight.

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maven
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by maven » Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:21 am

I also winced when I read the OP. And just to be a pedant, swearing (even when replaced by asterisks) is against the rules of the forum.

That isn't to say that I don't often think something different to what I say. Most recently "that's fine, take your time" when I mean "just tell me please, whatever your decision is, stop leaving me hanging" and probably most often "I'll try to fit it in" when I really mean "I'm too busy, please don't ask me to do that".
Maven.

Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something - Plato
The fool thinks himself to be wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool - Shakespeare

NotReally
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by NotReally » Tue Dec 04, 2018 7:03 pm

maven wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 5:21 am
I also winced when I read the OP. And just to be a pedant, swearing (even when replaced by asterisks) is against the rules of the forum.

That isn't to say that I don't often think something different to what I say. Most recently "that's fine, take your time" when I mean "just tell me please, whatever your decision is, stop leaving me hanging" and probably most often "I'll try to fit it in" when I really mean "I'm too busy, please don't ask me to do that".
At the risk of asking you to do something when you're too busy, there doesn't seem to be an option to delete the post for me, so if you could, that would be great.

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workingmama
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by workingmama » Mon Dec 10, 2018 4:07 pm

It's always a bit awkward when something falls flat, isn't it? We've many of us been there, so if you can I'd try and take it as an available learning opportunity if you like to, but otherwise I would try to put it behind you. I shudder to think how many randomly uneducated/inexperienced/insulting/dodgy posts I've made over the years on a variety of fora. Onwards and upwards.
Fail, fail again, fail better.

NotReally
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by NotReally » Tue Dec 11, 2018 9:11 am

workingmama wrote:
Mon Dec 10, 2018 4:07 pm
It's always a bit awkward when something falls flat, isn't it? We've many of us been there, so if you can I'd try and take it as an available learning opportunity if you like to, but otherwise I would try to put it behind you. I shudder to think how many randomly uneducated/inexperienced/insulting/dodgy posts I've made over the years on a variety of fora. Onwards and upwards.
Indeed, thanks for the advice

lakeland
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Re: What you're thinking v what you say

Post by lakeland » Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:23 am

What I say: please email me if you have any questions or you'd like to discuss further.

What I mean: don't. I've said it all there. Leave me alone.

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