I still miss my ex!!

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C0nfused
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I still miss my ex!!

Post by C0nfused » Sun Aug 02, 2020 7:32 am

Hi! This is going to sound RIDICULOUS, but, I miss my ex even after about three and a half years...I can’t stop dreaming about her and sometimes she’ll creep into my thoughts during the day and I’ll think about how much I miss her. This isn’t just since lockdown either...okay, at the start of lockdown I thought about her every day...but, I would often think about her before that an awful lot too.

Here’s the backstory: she was my first ever long-term partner and then, after a long time (years) of kinda ‘being together but not properly dating’ and being really chilled about it, we dated properly for about 9 months, when I broke up with her!!! I’m just feeling like I did it for the wrong reasons and I really just didn’t know how to handle things back then and just dealt with it all wrong. I think we were really good together, and it’s hard to shake that feeling sometimes. I’ve tried dating since and it just hasn’t been the same! I just wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake?!

After we had broken up, we still saw each other and had some physical contact with one another, which went on for a while.

I know that I’m being stupid and even if she were single right now (she’s not..!) and we both wanted to get back together or whatever, it probably wouldn’t work out and right now I’m probably just in love with the idea of us together, and the real thing just wouldn’t work. And having said that I ended the relationship for the wrong reasons, I realise that I still had my reasons to do it and at the time it just felt like the right thing to me!! I just have no idea how to stop my thoughts, or maybe just lessen the frequency of the dreams? I was just wondering if anyone had any tips?

*i apologise for the quality of my writing in this post-I’ve just woken up early after dreaming about her again-it’s driving me crazy!!*

Thank you!

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Geishawife
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by Geishawife » Sun Aug 02, 2020 9:42 am

Without wishing to sound unsympathetic, I'm not sure this is really the best place to be getting the help you feel you need. I think you'd be better off seeking therapy or counselling in a private, more contained space. Maybe talk to your GP about a referral on.

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workingmama
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by workingmama » Thu Aug 06, 2020 8:01 am

In fairness this is the 'Misc: Off topic' thread, but I would second that this isn't generally what this thread is used for. If you are looking for some general sympathy and top tips rather than therapy, might I suggest the 'Relationships' board of Mumsnet. There are many posts like your own on there, and a wide an interested readership for people willing to pitch in with advice/support. Best wishes.
Fail, fail again, fail better.

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Geishawife
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by Geishawife » Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:47 pm

I think my reaction is reflective of my general unease with any potential therapeutic input being given "in public" for any and all to see without people really knowing what the situation is/was. I just feel a proper assessment and contained, tailored intervention is a safer option. Perhaps I'm just over cautious.

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maven
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by maven » Sun Aug 09, 2020 2:06 am

Geishawife wrote:
Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:47 pm
I think my reaction is reflective of my general unease with any potential therapeutic input being given "in public" for any and all to see without people really knowing what the situation is/was. I just feel a proper assessment and contained, tailored intervention is a safer option. Perhaps I'm just over cautious.
This and the fact that the forum is for CPs and aspiring CPs, so we are posting with our professional hats on as it were, rather than asking for advice about our personal lives where future colleagues or clients might stumble upon it.
Maven.

Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something - Plato
The fool thinks himself to be wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool - Shakespeare

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workingmama
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by workingmama » Sun Aug 09, 2020 1:07 pm

I was thinking this when I read Geishawife's response - about the difference with which we might read and understand the OP depending on whether a person 'presented' in a clinical setting with this as their main difficulty, or whether this was a peer at work chewing the fat over lunch, or whether this was a random stranger posting on a chat/support forum (e.g. Mumsnet/Twitter/insert young person's social media preference!).
Fail, fail again, fail better.

C0nfused
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by C0nfused » Sun Aug 09, 2020 8:33 pm

I see what you are all saying, and I am sorry for posting here. I did join this website, and continue to be a part of it, with a genuine interest in Clinical Psychology, and am a BSc Psychology graduate. I now realise that posting on here was misjudged.
kind regards,

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miriam
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by miriam » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:04 pm

C0nfused wrote:
Sun Aug 09, 2020 8:33 pm
I see what you are all saying, and I am sorry for posting here. I did join this website, and continue to be a part of it, with a genuine interest in Clinical Psychology, and am a BSc Psychology graduate. I now realise that posting on here was misjudged.
kind regards,
No worries, I think the qualified posters who replied were just explaining why you hadn't got answers. Drop an admin a PM if you'd rather remove the thread from public view.
Miriam

See my blog at http://clinpsyeye.wordpress.com

alexh
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by alexh » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:22 pm

Is Miscellaneous off-topic viewable by non-members?

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Geishawife
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Re: I still miss my ex!!

Post by Geishawife » Mon Aug 10, 2020 6:46 pm

alexh wrote:
Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:22 pm
Is Miscellaneous off-topic viewable by non-members?
Yes, non-members can see it but not comment (as far as I understand).

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